george carlin politicians transcript

Its never going to get any better, dont look for it, be happy with what youve got. THIS IS A RUSH TRANSCRIPT. It's so obvious that it almost goes without saying, but comedians are generally more intelligent and sensitive than the average person. But here's the thing: social media isn't real life. 192 0 obj It's like a sewer of hate and stupidity. George Carlin - National Press Club [complete] - YouTube Nothing wrong with the planet. That's a friend. I have a problem with the Ten Commandments. George Carlin: Life Is Worth Losing - English Transcript. Yeah the public sucks. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts, Use the actual ChatGPT bot (not GPT-3 models) for all your conversational needs, Try out the powerful GPT-3 bot (no jailbreaks required for this one), Generate unique and stunning images using our AI art bot, Chat with the BING Chat bot and see what it can come up with (new and improved! As for me, Ill be home on that day, doing essentially the same thing as you, the only difference is, when I get finished masturbating, Im going to have a little something to show for it folks. They own you. All across this great land of ours, the greatest nation on earth, the greatest nation in the history of the World and in times of military crisis you can be sure that someone in a suit in this town will eventually plant himself in front of a camera and carry on a great deal about the most powerful nation on the face of the earth. Nobody cares. As I say, they're my work, they're my . Because if it is really just the fault of the politicians then where are all the other bright people of conscience? Now theres one thing you might have noticed i dont complain about: politicians. They come from American parents, American families, American homes, American schools, American churches, American businesses, American universities, and theyre elected by American citizens. They want obedient workers. George Carlin The Planet Is Fine transcript | iComedyTV.com Write your screenplay and focus on the story with many helpful features. Funny, Humor, Beer. Shut the fuck up! endobj Save the planet, we don't even know how to take care of ourselves yet. 124 Copy quote. Everybody's going to save something now. (LAUGHS). But a comedian has the ability to use their anger and intelligence to refocus and reconstruct their pain into entertainment. %%EOF Difference. George Carlin's acerbic wit and profound societal insights were a one time cultural phenomenon. Carlin left a wealth of social, political, and religious commentaryand most of it was highly critical. 4 Mar. They come from American parents, and American families, American homes, American schools, American churches, American businesses, and American universities. And term limits aint gunna do ya any good. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. The more we pointed out the foolishness of our "superiors," the more they kept us down. Full transcript of George Carlin's "Dumb Americans," excerpted from "Life is Worth Losing, his 13th live comedy stand-up special, performed at the Beacon Theatre in New York City for HBO. So Ive made what i hope is a more readable version below, so this classic piece of polemical gold can be shared and understood more widely. [FINAL NOTE: If you want to dig deeper into Carlins brilliant mind vis--vis comments on politicians and the doublespeak they are prone to use, check out The Consultation Institutes George Carlin on the language of politics. It's our undeniably superior (almost god-like) intelligence that made life difficult for us when we were children. POLITICIAN:WHEN HE RESPONDS TO MY INITIATIVE, I WILL REVIEW HIS RESPONSE, TAKE A POSITION AND MAKE A RECOMMENDATION. Carlin is usually spot on. xref Theyll get it. Then share it far and wide with the little green button. The late George Carlin was a genius with words, a deft dasher of conventional logic, and a master observer (and master-baiter!) Oh, I gotta share this with my friends, you know what you should do? We invite you and ask you to help us update this wiki by editing it. Two reasons. 203 0 obj stream Thats right. If you vote and you elect dishonest, incompetent people and they get into office and screw everything up, well, you are responsible for what they have done. Their own habitat. 0000000716 00000 n All day long beating you over the head in their media telling you what to believe, what to think and what to buy. He is widely regarded as one of the most important and influential stand-up comics; one newspaper called Carlin "the dean of counterculture comedians". Remembering George Carlin : NPR Overnight I became a sun-worshipper. Juno3127 10 years ago You couldn't be more wrong. They're your contacts. trailer They dont pass through a membrane from another reality. The stand up comic was an artist who did more than articulate the public's subconscious; he. Your vote is what determines the direction this Great Ship America will turn. ,G0p%:::400-: @%L`n((lax@\0eF,q] \ .P+4 d3;P hnN*S fxsH>XDAA#beae:i5rY3h11(31013a_p_&]37CD\&k2N@TD}. This is not good work. Enjoyed this speech? In 2017, Rolling Stone magazine ranked him second (behind Richard Pryor) on its list of the 50 best stand-up comics of all time. endobj They dont fall out of the sky. 2023. It presents itself as fairness, yet attempts to restrict and control people's language with strict codes and rigid rules. Its called the American Dream,because you have to be asleep to believe it. So, I know that a little later on this year youre gunna have another one of those really swell presidential elections that you like so much [Bill Clinton v. Bob Dole]. He is mostly non-political except for his involvement with the environmental organization, Greenpeace. They're worried that some day in the future, they might be personally inconvenienced. You and I are not in the big club. From the late 1980s, Carlin's routines focused on sociocultural criticism of American society. Politicians have traditionally hidden behind three things, the flag, the Bible and children. Two hundred years versus four and a half billion. Whenever the issue of term limits comes up, I always tell people the only term limits I'm interested in would be to limit some of the terms used by politicians. Besides, there is nothing wrong with the planet. The more we pointed out the foolishness of our "superiors," the more they kept us down. George Carlin was one of the most well-known and beloved comedians of all time. Its a big club, and you aint in it! Search. Been here four and a half billion years. Fuck em! Now, folks, a question for you. Hendra, a writer and comedian, talks with Rebecca . They want it back so they can give it to their criminal friends on Wall Street, and you know something? <>/Border[0 0 0]/Contents( \n h t t p s : / / d i g i t a l c o m m o n s . Fuck hope!. Now hes on the side of law and order, jiu jitsu really: POLITICIAN:WE'RE TRYING TO GET TO THE BOTTOM OF THIS SO WE CAN GET THE FACTS OUT TO THE AMERICAN PEOPLE. THIS COPY MAY NOT BE IN ITS FINAL FORM AND MAY BE UPDATED. TOUGH DECISIONS like: POLITICIAN (PLANNING):HOW MUCH SOFT MONEY CAN I EXPECT TO COLLECT IN EXCHANGE FOR MY CORE VALUES? I just wanna put this thing behind me and get on with my life (CLAPS, LAUGHS). (BEGIN VIDEO CLIP) GEORGE CARLIN, COMEDIAN: Takes the cake! 184 0 obj They should be based on the parents' performance. )'B^E_2yKg&. To avoid redundancy in the comments section, we kindly ask /u/arkreder to respond to this comment with the prompt you used to generate the output in this post, so that others may also try it out. But that would be much too direct! But a comedian has the ability to use their anger and intelligence to refocus and reconstruct their pain into entertainment. That's a big activity here in Washington! 0000002288 00000 n 183 21 That's always a nice touch, American people. Well where do people think these politicians come from? <>/Border[0 0 0]/Contents(digitalcommons@montclair.edu)/Rect[400.0562 72.3516 527.5898 82.8984]/StructParent 7/Subtype/Link/Type/Annot>> They say, Well, if you dont vote you have no right to complain. But wheres the logic in that? Global Search Search In. I think the list of commandments was deliberately and artificially inflated to get it up to ten. Keep 'Em Separated: Remembering George Carlin : NPR Maybe two hundred thousand? Regarded as one of the most important and influential stand-up comedians of all time, he was dubbed "the dean of counterculture comedians". They don't get any real human contact. Well, if you ask me, it's more like the land of the self-obsessed and the home of the vain. Londons Heathrow Airport, November 7, 2018. endobj . POLITICIAN:THERE IS NO EVIDENCE, NO ONE HAS PROVEN ANYTHING EVENTUALLY I'LL BE EXONERATED. Dog, Cat, Thinking. You have no choice! If you want to make a difference in the world, if you want to connect with people in a meaningful way, put down the phone, step away from the computer, and go have a real conversation with someone. There's a whole world out there waiting for you, and it's much more interesting than anything you'll find on social media.". 0000004120 00000 n That doesnt help them. Sure, there's some good stuff on there, but it's mostly just people filming themselves doing stupid things and hoping to go viral. Maher was raised a Catholic (but has a Jewish mother). About Press Copyright Contact us Creators Advertise Developers Terms Privacy Policy & Safety How YouTube works Test new features NFL Sunday Ticket Press Copyright . George Carlin on the American Dream (with transcript) They own everything. Moses could have carried them down the hill in his pocket. In this paper, I examine George Carlin's stance on . It's a psychologically satisfying number: the top ten; the ten most wanted; the ten best-dressed. 'Look at me, I'm so happy and successful and loved!' ), Stay up to date with the latest Digital Ants Network (DAN) versions in our channel, All of these features are available at no cost to you. Clearly he's preparing us for something (LAUGHS). They OWN YOU. They [Catholic teachers] would fall back on, Well, its a mystery.[2]. George Carlin on why he likes disasters and people under pressure, and why the planet is doin' just fine. Yeah, the public sucks! They own all the important land. What's with all the selfies? He was a spiritual atheist as an adult. You're just trying to impress people you don't even know. Good honest hard-working people; white collar, blue collar it doesnt matter what color shirt you have on. Well where do people think these politicians come from? Then you're just what they're looking for. In fact, it might be the thing that's making you unhappy. they're always PROCEEDING or moving forward. Dst7cSE99`YpOqBp@&+69ykl95-! You have no right to complain. I show how there is no direct way to escape politicizing . Maybe something else sucks around here like: THE PUBLIC. Garbage out. However, most of his bile was reserved for conservatives and Republicans. [wptabtitle]Blog[/wptabtitle][wptabcontent][/wptabcontent] And so, a long last after each has RESPONDED to the others INITIATIVES and each has REVIEWED the others RESPONSES and everyone has taken a POSITION made a JUDGMENT and offered a RECOMMENDATION. NOW they have to do something! Then youre just what theyre looking for. % 0000001596 00000 n Watching the video and reading the transcript are, interestingly, two different experiences. THE FOOD IS GREAT BUT PUBLIC SERVICE IS TERRIBLE. The politicians, the celebrities, and the lawyers, and although their level of insincerity is astonishing, it's still kinda fun to hear them talk. <>/MediaBox[0 0 612 792]/Parent 175 0 R/Resources<>/Font<>/ProcSet[/PDF/Text/ImageC]/XObject<>>>/Rotate 0/StructParents 0/Tabs/S/Type/Page>> George Carlin: Dumb Americans. George Carlin on why he likes disasters and people under pressure, and why the planet is doin' just fine. I do not own this video. You got people posting pictures of their food, their pets, their vacations. Something is wrong here. We haven't learned how to care for one another, we're gonna save the fucking planet? POLITICIAN:WERE ADDRESSING THE PROBLEM AND WE'LL SOON BE PROCEEDING. Now normally during peace times the politician would refer to people in the military as: POLITICIAN:OUR YOUNG MEN AND WOMEN STATIONED AROUND THE WORLD. First of all, its meaningless. Thank you. They want your retirement money. startxref Never mind the press conferences get the big knife out of the drawer. You have OWNERS! It's like they're part of some kind of digital echo chamber. I always thought it was kind of funny and someone out of character for a POLITICIAN to go out of his way to point out the low level of American intelligence (LAUGHS), when indeed his very job depends upon it. He often spoke about his youth in Catholic school and, as a result of his particular schools relatively liberal approach to education, he says, he was given the intellectual freedom to eventually reject the faith. No contest. 0 Follow the link for the full transcript, its worth it, but here are a few choice excerpts: When it comes to bullshit, big-time, major league bullshit, you have to stand in awe of the all-time champion of false promises and exaggerated claims, religion. George Carlins daughter, @kelly_carlin, on her first radio show with guest Paul Provenza, talking about this routine. 186 0 obj Please validate my existence. They are us', Address to Parliament following Christchurch massacre - 2019, Dolores Ibrruri: "No Pasarn!, They shall not pass! You crowned us', by Toni Morrison - 1988, for Michael Gordon: '13 days ago my Dads big, beautiful, generous heart suddenly stopped beating', by Scott and Sarah Gordon - 2018, Tara Westover: 'Your avatar isn't real, it isn't terribly far from a lie', The Un-Instagrammable Self, Northeastern University - 2019, Tim Minchin: 'Being an artist requires massive reserves of self-belief', WAAPA - 2019, Atul Gawande: 'Curiosity and What Equality Really Means', UCLA Medical School - 2018, Abby Wambach: 'We are the wolves', Barnard College - 2018, Eric Idle: 'America is 300 million people all walking in the same direction, singing 'I Did It My Way'', Whitman College - 2013, Shirley Chisholm: ;America has gone to sleep', Greenfield High School - 1983, Joe Marler: 'Get back on the horse', Harlequins v Bath pre game interview - 2019, Ray Lewis : 'The greatest pain of my life is the reason I'm standing here today', 52 Cards -, Mel Jones: 'If she was Bradman on the field, she was definitely Keith Miller off the field', Betty Wilson's induction into Australian Cricket Hall of Fame - 2017, Jeff Thomson: 'Its all those people that help you as kids', Hall of Fame - 2016, Dan Angelucci: 'The Best (Best Man) Speech of all time', for Don and Katherine - 2019, Hallerman Sisters: 'Oh sister now we have to let you gooooo!' A friend is someone you can count on. It's a big club, and you ain't in it. Yeah, right. People post pictures of themselves and their lives, trying to create a narrative that they're happy, successful, and popular. (Yes, I know, the USS America is a humongous, gargantuan behemoth, and the rudder very, very, very small, but we can still make it sloooowly turn to a certain general heading if we all pile our [intelligent] votes in the wheelhouse. And if we had a list like that, I wouldn't mind that brilliant judge in Alabama displaying it prominently in the courthouse wall. So if you are easily offended dont click the link. These people on social media, they're not your friends. And secondly, I dont vote cause I believe if you vote, you have no right to complain. However, he calls himself an apatheist (meaning that he's an atheist who doesn't care about the topic). If this is the best God can do, I am not impressed. He discusses political stance and also societal beliefs on the environment, and the Earth's resilience towards bombardment by pollution. George Carlin: I'm in Hollywood, Los Angeles. Everybody says they suck. In particular it's fun to listen to Washington talk. "I don't believe anything the government tells me." - George Carlin 02. I have my ideas. endobj And besides, all of these sites, they're just an illusion. If you vote, and you elect dishonest, incompetent people, and they get into office and screw everything up, well you are responsible for what they have done, YOU caused the problem, you voted them in, you have no right to complain. It's like we're living in this weird dystopian future where everyone is constantly monitoring each other, waiting for the opportunity to pounce. 0000082419 00000 n They speak of course with great caution, because they must take care not to actually say anything. Fuck em. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns. And then, maybe, put down your phone and go have an actual conversation with someone. That's because now he's feeling the heat and so as time passes and more evidence comes in he suddenly changes directions and tells us: POLITICIAN:WERE TRYING TO GET TO THE BOTTOM OF THIS! Obedient workers, people who are just smart enough to run the machines and do the paperwork. People like to twist that around. Its almost a poetic rap. The truth is, obedience and respect should not be granted automatically. I'M SERVING THE NATION. George Carlin, George Carlin - Euphemisms It's the perfect name because it's anti-social media. 185 0 obj 0000002011 00000 n He said: [There was] a lot of classroom freedomin fact there was so much freedom that by eighth grade, many of us had lost the faith. He spoke about his book "Brain Droppings" and answered questions submitted by the audience. 194 0 obj People are so quick to judge and attack each other over the smallest things. POLITICIAN:I'M IN PUBLIC SERVICE, I LIKE AMERICA DON'T YOU? It would seem to fly in the face of that other rhetorical standby that: POLITICIAN:THE AMERICAN PEOPLE ARE LOT SMARTER THAN THEY ARE GIVEN CREDIT FOR. We've been here, what, a hundred thousand? WHEN THE HEARINGS HAVE CONCLUDED, I WILL MAKE A JUDGMENT OR I MIGHT MAKE AN ASSESSMENT. So, the next time you're walking around looking at your phone, tweeting and Instagramming and Facebooking, just remember this: you're not living in the real world, you're living in the digital world. Conservatives want live babies so they can raise them to be dead soldiers. [5] And another one: Carlin was brought up Irish Catholic but grew into an outspoken atheist. (CLAPS, LAUGHS). The big wealthy business interests that control things and make all the important decisions. Oh, and I cant finish without recommending the routine Carlin calls his Incomplete List of Impolite Words. It will be a lot of fun. Im sure as soon as the election is over your country will improve immediately. Nobody cares. endobj George Carlin interview from 1989 | The Tapes Archive Podcast You, and I, are not in the big club. Such a nice touch. Two is all you need, folks. But wheres the logic in that? <>/Border[0 0 0]/Contents( M o n t c l a i r S t a t e U n i v e r s i t y \n D i g i t a l C o m m o n s)/Rect[466.2109 650.625 540.0 669.375]/StructParent 2/Subtype/Link/Type/Annot>> m o n t c l a i r . George Carlin: Life Is Worth Losing - English Transcript This is what we have to offer. It's always the whole thing. The planet is fine. The only part I would take with a block of salt is the last in which he explains why he doesnt vote. George Carlin: 'Politicians don't actually say things, they INDICATE Famous Quotes by George Carlin about Politics. "A transcript of George Carlin talking about Social Media" First Response: First Response Certainly! I'm getting tired of that shit. They're your followers. So, it may seem like stand-up comedy, but I suspect Carlin is deadly serious. Thats what the owners count on. In this blog post, we'll take a look at some of Carlin's most famous quotes on government. I dont always agree with everything he says, but I always listen. Maher is a liberal who has endorsed at least the last two Democratic presidential candidates. But, listen to Georges delivery in the video and it comes across much more as stand-up humor. Anyway enjoy it while it's h. ', Defense of 2nd Spanish Republic - 1936, Jimmy Reid: 'A rat race is for rats. <>/Border[0 0 0]/Contents()/Rect[72.0 612.5547 302.8926 625.4453]/StructParent 3/Subtype/Link/Type/Annot>> Conservatives want live babies so they can raise them to be dead soldiers. When they're in trouble, their explanations usually begin simply with words like MISS-COMMUNICATION; QUESTION:WHAT DID YOU DO WRONG, SENATOR?POLITICIAN:WELL, IT WAS A MISS-COMMUNICATION. You voted them in. Here Is What You Support, Stop The Steal! So I have solved this little political dilemma for myself in a very simple way: on election-day, I-STAY-HOME. And nobody seems to notice. American stand-up comedian George Carlin is notable for his long-standing popularity from the early 60s up until his death in 2008. The fact that Americans will probably remain willfully ignorant of the big red, white and blue dick thats being jammed up their assholes everyday, because the owners of this country know the truth. You know, in the old days, if you wanted to share your opinion with someone, you had to look them in the eye and say it to their face. Do you? George Carlin - The Ten Commandments | Genius Quote by George Carlin: "But there's a reason. There - Goodreads "We're so self-important. I dont vote. Ill let Carlin tell you what he thinks. But here's the thing, folks. George Denis Patrick Carlin (May 12, 1937 June 22, 2008) was an American stand-up comedian, actor, author, and social critic. In April 2004, he placed second on the Comedy Central list of "Top 10 Comedians of US Audiences".The first of Carlin's 14 stand-up comedy specials for HBO was filmed in 1977. And there you have it, a transcript of George Carlin's take on social media. We could see through the hypocracy and illogic of our parents and teachers, but because of our age and size we couldn't do anything about it. I don't like euphemisms, or euphemistic language. The transcripts I could find always sucked. Transcript. User Clip: Carlin Mocks Politicians' Language. Well, not overnight, you cant see the sun at night. "In America, anyone can become president. This legendary rant is even better when read. Marc Allan: Good, thanks for calling. In 2008, he was posthumously awarded the Mark Twain Prize for American Humor. It's supposed to connect you with other people, but it's just a way of avoiding real human contact. Comedian George Carlin addressed members and guests of the National Press Club in Washington, DC. George Carlin does not need my platitudes, but I will still proffer them. George has been quoted as calling this his favourite HBO special of them all due to its continuous flow-on nature and high standard of writing. In fact at this point he might even say: POLITICIAN:I'M WILLING TO TRUST IN THE FAIRNESS OF THE AMERICAN PEOPLE. I mean, have you ever looked at people's Facebook or Instagram profiles? endstream I HAVEN'T DETERMINED THAT YET. "No child left behind. And just dumb enough to passively accept all these increasingly shitty jobs with the lower pay, the longer hours, the reduced benefits, the end of overtime and vanishing pension that disappears the minute you go to collect it, and now theyre coming for your Social Security money. George Carlin - Wikipedia As for me, Ill be home on that day, doing essentially the same thing as you. A clean place to live. 193 0 obj But just as pressure and heat transform coal into diamonds, it's that frustration, social pressure and the heat of anger that transforms us into comedians. I don't words that conceal reality. They're your 'likes'. 'Oh, I'm so exhausted from traveling all over Europe for the third time this year. Besides, environmentalists don't give a shit about the planet. 0000001412 00000 n Web. Well, we know what they want. Given the nature of our current Administration, I thought it timely to revisit what George said years ago (Back In Town HBO Special, 1996) about American politicians and the American people who elect them. I'm so interesting, I'm so important!'. Now theres one thing you mighta noticed I dont complain about: politicians. Sure, here's a transcript of George Carlin talking about social media: "Social media, huh? Required fields are marked *. (LAUGHS), so instead they ADDRESS the PROBLEM (LAUGHS). Marc Allan: Hi. Very relevant for these times of high public paranoia about Global Warming! Everybody says they suck. We're addicted to the attention, the likes, the validation. New episode of the podcast is terrific. You dont. People like to twist that around, I know. Everybody complains about politicians. THINGS ARE MOVING FASTER NOW, MISTAKES WERE MADE. THIS IS A RUSH TRANSCRIPT. And so when finally all the facts come out and our subject seems quite guilty he employs that sublime use of the passive voice: POLITICIAN:MISTAKES WERE MADE.